I want to go where everybody knows your name

He had a cold beer in his hand and smile on his face.

Now, that’s the Cass Spence people are used to seeing.

With crushed peanut shells underfoot and a swarm of well wishers

surrounding him, Cass tipped his glass and thanked the community for

yet another welcome home party at the Goathill Tavern Thursday night.

Newport Beach Mayor Steve Bromberg and other staffers were on hand

to welcome home one of their own. Bromberg presented Cass, who works

as a Newport Beach code enforcement officer, with a proclamation of

gratitude.

“Unless you’re here with him, he’s your worst nightmare,” Bromberg

said about Cass and his role as a code enforcement officer.

Unlike most city presentations, the mood was light and informal.

They were not at a podium, smiling and shaking hands for the cameras.

They were in a local bar, with good friends, sharing a drink and a

moment.

Of course, Thursday was not the official presentation of the

proclamation. Cass will have to go down to City Hall Tuesday and do

the shake-and-smile thing on the record but it was nice to attend a

city function outside the municipal setting.

It was all very personal, very friendly, very inclusive.

Good-natured ribbing was the order of the day. The aura was relaxed.

People joked around and mingled.

A cue stick and a beverage were always within reach. It was

actually a fun assignment. (I laid of the booze, though, because I

was on the clock.) But still, I had fun.

It got me thinking ....

With all the talk about renovating City Hall, why not add some of

the components that made this proclamation a smashing success? Can’t

you just see it?

Here’s my vision for council chambers: The top of the dais could

double as an air hockey table. Any time council members find

themselves at odds with each other, they could play for who’s right.

Sudden death, first goal wins.

With the exception of a few regulars -- and the reporters assigned

to cover the meetings -- most people are only there for a single

issue. Why not put pool tables in the lobby to pass the time? I’m

sure developers and residents would love to play a good game of nine

ball while waiting for Old Business Item 3A. Perhaps it would

dispense with some of the tension before the real competition begins.

Foosball anyone?

Now, I’m not sure if Newport wants to go with the rugged peanut

shell motif or a more upscale martini lounge, but either way, music

is a must. I can see it now, DJ Dr. Proctor tearing up the turn

tables with MC Ridgeway on the mic. Bromberg the human beat box

(known as simply Bro, to his fans), droppin’ the beats.

“The roof, the roof, the roof is too high-a!”

“We don’t need no variance let the bleep-bleep burn!”

To keep the vibe on a nice mellow tip: beer on tap and a slew of

well drinks. And what would a Tuesday night be without tacos. Taco

Tuesdays at Newport Beach City Hall, with $1 domestic beers and $2

mixed cocktails. Once a month, the city could host Meet-and-Greet

martini night, where constituents can get to know their council

members while sipping a shaken, not stirred, cocktail and puffing on

a fine cigar.

With $30 million to play with, this could be a really happening

joint.

There would be no problem with the ABC license. (No deliveries on

July 4, though.) Residents would not have to squabble over noise

ordinances here and dancing until 1 a.m. there because who would they

complain to if it was the City Council getting its party on?

The area needs a happening Tuesday night spot anyways. It is the

one night of the week that is devoid of a real “scene” activity.

Imagine the comments that could be uttered by council members if

there were free-flowing alcohol.

June Casagrande, get out your notepad.

Of course I am kidding. I’ve been told enough times that alcohol

and business don’t mix. It was fun to rub elbows with the mayor in a

bar and strain to hear a proclamation over the tunes of a juke box.

Now, that’s my kind of assignment.

Party on Newport.

* LOLITA HARPER writes columns Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and

covers culture and the arts. She may be reached at (949) 574-4275 or

by e-mail at [email protected].