Low down on TV chefs

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

No doubt about it, TV cooking programs have created an impressive

migration into America’s kitchens. Media experts use different kinds

of messengers to attract different segments of the TV-viewing public.

Here’s the way I think it breaks down.

Male chefs often surround themselves with adoring females who

flutter their eyelashes and display near-orgasmic delight with every

forkful of the chef’s creation.

If anyone out there has watched Hot Off the Grill with Bobby Flay

at the stove, please tell me what his tight-sweatered sidekick Jacqui

Malouf is supposed to be doing?

And what about the three mutes perched over the counter of Mario

Batali? Isn’t it odd that none of these people are ever introduced?

In all fairness, at least Bobby Flay sometimes brings on his butcher

for a bit of Red Meat 101.

When it comes to showmanship, who could compete with Emeril? The

“Bam Bam” Man is obviously an experienced chef, and someone I’d

welcome him into my kitchen for a few lessons. To his credit, his

show biz style has tickled the imagination of many viewers and

created a new interest in cooking.

I’m sure I’ll get into trouble for saying this, but after watching

far too many of these shows, a connection between over-active male

ego and food begins to emerge. Isn’t there something just a little

macho about wielding a huge meat cleaver and creating a raging flame

on a high tech indoor grill? A surge of testosterone seems to work on

a mostly female studio audience.

Ming Tsai, cooking guru of East Meets West, flashes a combination

of cute kid family photos with shots of him playing squash and

strutting around the streets of exotic locales. But all I want are a

few new ideas and tips to improve my kitchen techniques.

Why does Wolfgang Puck need a cooking program? He’s been a food

institution for decades and has his name on more products than anyone

else. He’d do a much better job if he slowed down a bit and went to

Accent Reduction school.

Cooking shows are a welcome alternative to much of the stuff

available to TV viewers and even obnoxious chefs do a good job of

contributing some educational value to the entertainment media. Lots

of folks who tune in don’t even have a passing interest in cooking.

They simply prefer these programs over the current offerings. Maybe

it’s part of the Reality TV phenomena?

But, if you want to learn to do something better in the kitchen

and can find other sources of entertainment, there’s plenty to choose

from.

One of the best cooking shows on TV is America’s Test Kitchen,

from the people who publish Cook’s Illustrated magazine and

cookbooks. Among a handful of culinary arts programs not on the Food

Channel, Test Kitchen is aired on KCET Saturdays at noon. A series of

chefs take you step-by-step through and process of every-day dishes

and more complicated fare you may have been afraid to attempt.

Recipes can be found on their Web site, cooksillustrated.com.

On the Food Channel, Cooking Live and Sara’s Secrets, with Sara

Moulton, are favorites. No playing to a studio audience here, just

solid instruction and a genuinely warm personality. Editor of Gourmet

magazine among her impressive credentials, she takes obvious delight

in learning something new from guest chefs on her show. She even

takes calls from viewers on the Cooking Live show.

Ina Garten, aka the Barefoot Contessa, exudes her obvious love of

cooking and sense of pride in feeding family and friends. I think

cooks often forget how much their efforts mean to others and don’t

admit to the personal pleasure it brings them. Her menus are always a

combination of current trends, like how to make the perfect

Cosmopolitan, and variations on basics like French Toast.

Martha Stewart, on both network TV and the Food Channel is

probably one of the most reliable teachers around. If you can get

past her poker face and pained monotone, there’s much to learn.

Alton Brown, of Good Eats, is a no-nonsense kind of guy whose

program is highly recommended for beginning cooks. As he explains

every step of a recipe in great detail, he supplies the theory behind

it and offers valuable tips about cooking tools and equipment. No sex

appeal here.

Thirty Minute Meals, with Rachel Ray, gets mixed reviews. Although

her giggles and gee-whiz attitude are a turn-off, she will teach you

something about arranging tasks for maximum time efficiency. She

really does complete a meal in 30 minutes. All recipes for cooking

shows on the Food Channel are available on foodtv.com, where you’ll

also find specific show times. To arm-chair chefs and serious foodies

-- now you have good reason to learn how to program your VCR.

* LILLIAN REITER is a Laguna Beach resident. She can be reached

at [email protected] or P.O. Box 248, Laguna Beach, CA 92652, or via

fax at 494-8979.