One word at a time

Coral Wilson

It was a $10,000 sentence: “During our summer vacation, my amazing

family and I traveled to the Sierras to have the time of our lives.”

Teachers and parents felt so strongly about a new writing program

led by literacy trainer Nancy Fetzer, at Ralph E. Hawes Elementary

School, that when recent budget cuts froze money intended for that

purpose, the PTA funded $3,800 for a two-day teacher’s workshop

allowing Fetzer to demonstrate the use of her specially-designed

materials and technique. Previously, the school and PTA had spent

almost $6,000 on materials and training seminars toward the program.

The school is the first in the Huntington Beach City School

District to implement the school-wide unified approach to writing.

The teachers wanted Fetzer, the parents wanted her and the kids

had better be paying attention.

“She has so much energy,” Tina Henning and her fellow teachers

whispered to each other on the sidelines.

Teachers from all grade levels in the school gathered in Hennig’s

fourth-grade room to watch. Leaving their own classes with substitute

teachers, their feet enjoyed the time off, but their arms were ready

for action, notebooks and pens in hand.

Fetzer bounced around the classroom telling the class a story

about her trip to the Sierras. With a radiant smile and illustrative

arm movements, she explained the structure of the five-paragraph

essay they were about to write: An introductory paragraph with a hook

and a thesis statement, a body with three main ideas and the

conclusion. The students concentrated on following along while the

teachers frantically jotted it all down.

Noun, verb and adjective color-coded cards were held up by

students at the front of the classroom, while the class brainstormed

the introductory thesis statement.

“My family and I” went in the noun box.

“What about them?” Fetzer asked the class, “My family is

delightful, amazing, caring, loving. Tell your neighbor about your

families.”

Fetzer listened in on class discussions, commented, added her own

ideas and prompted the students on with more questions: What? Where?

Why?

Where did they travel? “To Asia.” “To Europe.” “Home!” Winifred

Lee, Christina Marquette and Andy Peng, all 9-years-old, huddled in a

circle exchanging ideas.

At a neighboring table, the teachers huddled together in a

separate circle.

“You would not believe the 14-word-sentence Nicky came up with

this morning,” fourth-fifth grade teacher Sue Vernand shared. “She

was so proud.”

The room buzzed with conversation. The students were amazed. The

teachers were impressed. Pitching ideas and telling stories, they

built the sentence, one word at a time.

Fetzer switched the kids around, changed the order, added in a

comma, a period and capitalization.

The final result: “During our summer vacation, my amazing family

and I traveled to the Sierras to have the time of our lives.”

A couple more of those and the class would have their essay, 100

more could be a story, 1,000 more might be a book, 10,000 sentences could change the world.

* CORAL WILSON is a news assistant who covers education. She can

be reached at (714) 965-7177 or by e-mail at

[email protected].