Pondering a serious white-out

There is a pitch that in baseball parlance is known as a “hanging

curve.” This is a curve that doesn’t curve. It comes into the

batter’s eyes as a rich ripe grapefruit, suspended in mid-air,

pleading to be smashed. These are the pitches that end up somewhere

over the center field fence.

Columnists look for hanging curves in the back pages of the daily

newspaper. News items that wear a sign saying “Hit Me.” My John

Ashcroft file, for example, is already bulging. Local items are

harder to come by, however, because hanging curves from city and

county government are almost commonplace. But last week a news story

appeared in the Daily Pilot that was irresistible, and I have to

swing at it before Peter Buffa does.

It seems that an organization called the Public Policy Institute

of California has released a report titled: “Who’s Your Neighbor?

Residential Segregation and Diversity in California.” And the winner

of the Least Diverse City in the state is Newport Beach.

According to this study, 90% of the Newport Beach population is

white. Might be even higher than that, the researcher said, because

bits and pieces of Costa Mesa -- which is only 57% white -- might

have crept into the Newport Beach computations and muddied up the

numbers. However, the report pointed out, Newport Beach’s “diversity

index” is better than it was 10 years ago, which certainly gives one

pause. Apparently two or three non-white families found housing they

could afford in Newport Beach over the past decade, thus beefing up

the index.

While I was pondering this information, the Local Agency Formation

Commission took what is likely to be the final step in the annexation

of East Santa Ana Heights to Newport Beach. So I had to rethink this

study from a different place. In a few months I will probably be an

official resident of California’s Least Diverse City. Or, to put it

another way, California’s Whitest City.

I don’t think factoring in Santa Ana Heights statistics will take

either of these titles away from Newport Beach. We’re a lot more

eccentric than the current Newport Beachers, but probably just about

as white -- as long as we don’t count horses. If the Public Policy

Institute ever comes up with an “eccentricity index,” we would have a

considerable effect. Or an “economic diversity index,” because we

surely qualify there, too.

But since neither of those categories are likely to be tabulated,

we newcomers will have to decide how we want to relate to living in

the Least Diverse City. This is a particular problem for liberals who

take up the causes of the poor and powerless from the comfort and

sanctity of upscale suburban homes. I used to feel guiltier about

this than I presently do, probably because I can now offer age as an

excuse for not putting my body where my mouth is and moving to East

Los Angeles instead of rationalizing my guilt on the fringes of one

of the most beautiful cities in the nation.

I possibly have better Newport Beach credentials than many of my

neighbors, because I lived in Corona del Mar for 20 years before

moving to Santa Ana Heights. So I can offer some direct comparisons.

The best metaphor I can conjure up is Santa Ana Heights as the

ultimate non-gated community. It is mind-blowing to think of what

might happen in my neighborhood if the kind of restrictive covenants,

bylaws and regulations commonplace in homeowner associations were

imposed here. Serving on such a governing board would make umpiring a

Little League game seem like a walk in the park. We tend not to judge

one anothers’ peculiarities or taste around here. And mostly it

works.

There are even rumors of several Democrats living openly in Santa

Ana Heights. So in that sense, if not in skin color, we can surely

bring up the Newport Beach diversity rating in the years ahead. It

has occurred to me that perhaps the present citizens would prefer to

leave it where it is, but the die is now cast, and help -- whether

welcome or not -- is on the way.

As we adjust to one another, we’ll try not to rock any cultural

boats that might move our new fellow citizens to write Letters to the

Editor wondering why on earth we were invited into this refined

atmosphere where “affordable housing” -- which I think is now the

correct term -- starts at a half-million or so, where yacht dealers

are almost as common as car dealers and where one is more likely to

see a Mercedes-Benz than a Chevrolet on the streets. We don’t ask

much of our new city government. Just don’t mess around, please, with

our pick-ups and vans and horses and architectural eccentricities. Or

our block parties or egg hunts. Or our penchant for stopping our cars

in the middle of the street to talk to neighbors.

Meanwhile, I’ll hope that the word doesn’t get around to my old

editors, living around the country in retirement, that I now live in

the Least Diverse City in California. They know where to reach me --

and they know a hanging curve when they see one.

* JOSEPH N. BELL is a resident of Santa Ana Heights. His column

appears Thursdays.