Student Outlook -- Kellie Brownell

High school students tend to live a blissful fantasy in which we are

infallible, unconquerable and on top of the world. We are independent,

unique and modern. Accepting awards, winning athletic championships and

getting invited to colleges are the result of our own character and

achievements, right? Not quite.

Though a large part of who we are depends on the person we make

ourselves to be, the motivation and support that allows us to continually

reach higher largely comes from possibly the most influential people in

our lives: our parents.

As a statement of our burgeoning self-reliance, teenagers often try to

rebel against the antiquated and childish social tradition in which

parents never seize in trying to rule our lives. We get uncomfortable

with the idea that we are not yet allowed to be as grown-up as we may

want when our decisions are not final and our choices not always right,

creating tension between the household’s sans-culottes and weakening

aristocracy.

During this household revolution, we need to be sensitive to the idea

that parents are also having difficulty adjusting to letting go of

someone who has played a fundamental role in the past 18 or so years of

their lives. In reality, the controversy sooner or later ends with us

coming out with what we undertook to call our own: the ability to

determine the course of our own lives. But during the interim, both

parties need to respect the transition and should be careful not to

detrimentally further their own motives by either stalling or speeding up

the process.

Anxious as we may be to leave the house, for the summer or even

college, relish the last couple of years or, in some cases, months to

enjoy the company of those who raised, cared and supported you along the

way. As the past three years have proved, senior year comes all too

quickly with so many exciting things to get involved in and friends to

hang out with.

Once the amount of time spent with your parents begins to rapidly

decline, usually when junior high hits and continues at a steeper rates

as high school continues along, open communication and close relationship

-- dare we say friendship -- become harder to work at and more valuable

if maintained.

Whether it’s inviting them to watch your play or letting them cheer

you to the finish line, give your parents a chance to be considered cool

and you may discover that the gray hair and nostalgic stories of bygone

days are not as boring as you want to think.

* KELLIE BROWNELL is an incoming senior at Newport Harbor High School.

Her columns will appear occasionally in the Community Forum section in

the fall.