The Moral of the Story -- Cindy Trane Christeson

“I believe in God as I believe in my friends, because I feel the

breath of His affection, feel His invisible and intangible hand, drawing

me, leading me, grasping me.”

-- Miguel De Unamunu

I can’t begin to count the number of conversations I’ve had recently

about the importance of friendships. During each conversation, we’ve

agreed that the deepest richness in relationships occurs with those who

know the “real” us, complete with our strengths and weaknesses, and love

us just the same.

One friend said that though he had always been very successful at

work, he had never experienced success in deep friendships. He had not

known true closeness with others until lately. He attributed this to

changes in himself, as well as in his friends.

“I am learning to be more honest,” he said. “Life is really all about

relationships. Relationships with God, my wife and family, but also with

others who are also willing to risk being vulnerable.”

Another friend said something similar. “I need friends who are safe

enough that I can share what I’m really feeling inside, even if it’s hard

for them to hear,” she said.

She’s right. True friendships grow by being watered with words, not

only of love and encouragement, but also with truth and transparency. We

all benefit from the kind of trustworthy connections where we can express

our pains, as well as our praises, and be met with acceptance, love and

understanding.

Sometimes we challenge one another to change. There are also the kind

of relationships that deepen when we ask for or grant forgiveness when

needed.

I also can’t begin to count the number of times friends and family

helped me out in recent months before our daughter’s wedding. Many

planned wonderful showers and parties, and blessed the young couple with

prayers and support, in addition to beautiful gifts.

I tried to be as organized as I could possibly be, but the last week

before the ceremony, I found myself adding things to my “to-do” list

quicker than I could cross off others. My friends and family

instinctively knew this and let me know their schedules and their cell

phone numbers.

I had a fleet of people lined up, waiting for instructions, and I

called them one by one. I didn’t use a global positioning system, but if

I had some sort of electronic errand tracking system, lights on a map

would have lighted up over several cities and counties.

Friends and family bought food, brought meals, took pictures,

purchased film and drove many miles doing assorted errands to drug

stores, hardware stores, cleaners, malls and airports. Gifts were bought,

gifts were wrapped, bridesmaids’ dresses steamed, and one friend even

helped me with my hair and makeup.

In addition to all the physical help, I had incredible prayer and

emotional support. I sensed God’s peace and presence even in the busiest

of days. I pray for my friends and family daily, and I pray that I will

be the friend they need as well.

Friends are there to share and care, but best of all, they are there.

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at o7

[email protected] or through the mail at P.O. Box 6140-No. 505,

Newport Beach, CA 92658.