Comments & Curiosities -- Peter Buffa

First, some housekeeping. I got a few calls this week about a

reference in last Sunday’s column to “the extension of the Santa Ana

freeway” along Newport Boulevard. The calls and e-mails went something

like this: “How is it, Mr. Big Shot-Smarty-Pants-Transportation-Expert

(I’m paraphrasing here) that you don’t know the difference between the

Costa Mesa Freeway and the Santa Ana Freeway?”

I have only two words for you -- writers and editors. Those are

technical, newspaper biz terms for people who write things (writers) and

people who edit things (editors). I, for one, think editors make this

world a much better place. After writers write things, editors make them

better and better -- a process for which I am very grateful.

For example, when I wrote the aforementioned reference, it read:

“While they were transforming the ‘Big Ditch’ on Newport Boulevard to the

extension of the 55 Freeway....” But my editors realized, thankfully,

that “the 55 Freeway” is a clumsy, stupid, confusing phrase that no one

would understand. And so, they made it better: “While they were

transforming the ‘Big Ditch’ on Newport Boulevard to the extension of the

Santa Ana Freeway....” See? Much better. How could I have missed that?

And that is the story of how the 55 Freeway became the Santa Ana Freeway.

Have we all whined enough now? Thank you so much.

Speaking of e-mails, I found one in my little electronic mailbox on

Friday morning from my daughter, Lisa, who lives in the Really Big Apple.

“Dad, check out today’s Wall Street Journal -- front page story about

Costa Mesa!”

“Wow,” I thought. Being an unabashed cheerleader for Costa Mesa, I was

glad to hear we made the front page of the Journal. We’re talking about

the big leagues here, my friends -- the Wall Street Journal, the bible of

business, read religiously by big movers and shakers in the biggest

boardrooms. (Did you get all the religious metaphors: “bible of

business,” “read religiously,” “movers and shakers”? I thought that was

very clever.)

But what could it possibly be, I pondered. South Coast Plaza maybe, or

the Performing Arts Center -- both superstars in their respective

universes. Maybe ICN Pharmaceuticals had announced an anti-aging drug.

Maybe they made some jaw-dropping paleontological discovery, a perfectly

preserved pterodactyl or whatever, with all the freeway construction and

digging at Harbor Boulevard and the 405.

But then I thought, it doesn’t matter what the article is. As the

legendary promoter Sol Hurok said, “All publicity is good. Good publicity

is better.” It is what it is, and that’s all there is to it.

I rushed off to the Wall Street Journal Web site, sliding my little

mouse to and fro as fast as it would go. Sure, enough, there it was --

smack on the front page, above the fold -- a story by a reporter named

John Hechinger, filed in Costa Mesa, Calif. In fact, we were in all caps,

like this -- COSTA MESA, Calif.

“When a Judge Says, ‘Fat Tail,’ Dapper Doesn’t Turn a Hair” the

headline shouted. Uh, OK. That makes no sense at all, but this could

still be interesting. “Fanciers Put Their Top Rats In Beauty Pageants; A

Rodent’s Renaissance” the headline continued. That’s funny, I thought.

Whatever’s going on, they’re comparing it to a beauty pageant for rats.

But my heart sank as I kept reading. “COSTA MESA, Calif. -- Simply

Dapper, a 6-month-old thoroughbred, walked away recently with four prize

ribbons and a best-in-show award here at the Orange County Fairgrounds.”

Great. It really is a story about a beauty pageant for rats.

“Judges praised his shiny beige coat, sweet temperament and a blood

line dating back 12 generations.” If that wasn’t bizarre enough, there

was an illustration of Simply Dapper on his hind legs, sniffing a blue

ribbon for best of show. How special.

Unfortunately, there was more. “The Costa Mesa, Calif., show was part

of a three-day pet extravaganza, America’s Family Pet Expo, which

attracted almost 85,000.”

Now answer me this. Here are some of the other stories on the very

same front page of the very same Wall Street Journal. “Calculating Risks:

For Two Tense Days, Bush Team Wrestled With Vague Threat”; “Japan Joins

Forces With the EU, Escalating Steel Spat With U.S.”; “Drug Prices: Why

They Keep Soaring.”

Exactly how did the story about Simply Dapper the Rat from Costa Mesa

squirm its way in there, cheek to cheek, whisker to whisker with the FBI,

Japan, the European Union and prescription drug prices? Could we get the

name and the home number of the person who sat in a meeting and said,

“This FBI memo on Sept. 11th is hot -- but let’s not forget Simply

Dapper. He did have that shiny beige coat, you know.”

One of the judges, a woman named Dale McLain from Walnut, summed up

the entire rat-human relationship. “Rats are better than husbands,” she

said. “You can put a rat back in its cage when you’re done with him.”

Well OK, then. Anything further? I didn’t think so. I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays.

He may be reached via e-mail at [email protected].