Mother knows best

Young Chang

They’re playful together, like friends.

They tell each other things.

They fight.

But Stephanie and Heather Speer’s friendship is most touching when

they’re working together to keep Stephanie healthy. The 15-year-old has

had type-1 diabetes since she was 3. Nowadays, she’s old enough to

monitor her blood sugar level on her own. When she was younger, her

mother was her lifeline.

Heather Speer even ended her career in business administration more

than a decade ago to go back to school, earn a masters in public health

and work in the field of diabetes research.

For this Corona del Mar duo, the difficult part about getting through

Stephanie’s adolescent years is not fluctuating hormones, but randomly

fluctuating blood sugar levels. Hormones affect this movement, as do

stress and anger.

But through the past 12 years of countless insulin shots, blood sugar

tests, food calibrating, exercise monitoring, worrying and learning, both

mother and daughter have become more than survivors.

They’ve become advocates.

In the spring, they were chosen to travel with 300 other diabetes

advocates to Capitol Hill through the American Diabetes Assn’s “Call to

Congress: Conquer Diabetes” program.

Speer and her daughter, who were chosen for the short essays they

wrote to Congress, traveled last week to Washington D.C. to talk to

politicians about increasing funds for diabetes research and education.

“Her children will not have diabetes if we can get the research and

funding for education programs,” said Speer, a diabetes educator at

Children’s Hospital of Orange County.

When asked if having diabetes limits her life in significant ways,

Stephanie said that the shots are hard to keep up. And yes, she does

worry about serious side effects like loss of vision, seizures and

amputation.

But if forced to decide whether the disease has hindered her life, the

Corona del Mar High School sophomore is optimistic.

As she wrote in her essay to Congress, “I have had diabetes since I

was 3 years old. It has been my life . . . I would not be the person I

am today if I did not have diabetes. I have met some of my best friends

because of it. I represent diabetes as my life, my triumphs and my joys,

not as my disease.”

One of Stephanie’s greatest triumphs is her mom, who alternates

between “my baby” and “my favorite 15-year-old” when addressing her

daughter.

“She is understanding, forgiving and definitely persistent,’ said the

teen. “She’s persistent because I’ve been struggling a lot with diabetes

especially in the last few years . . . and she’s constantly on my back

about it. I wouldn’t be nearly as healthy as I am [if she weren’t.]”

Everyone plays a role in the Speer household. Heather Speer and her

husband Steven are the worriers, the ones who don’t mind being lovingly

overbearing about their daughter’s health. Stephanie’s sister Christine

Speer, a student at UC Santa Barbara, is the one who “doesn’t make a big

deal about it.”

“Which is very important to me,” Stephanie said. “She makes me feel

like a normal person.”

Christine Speer said her sister’s diabetes is a part of the family --

a part of who they all are.

“It’s not anything that gets in the way,” the college freshman said.

“I don’t look at her and see her as my sister with diabetes. She’s just

my sister. Obviously, we’re sisters first, but we’re friends.”

Heather Speer, who is graced with a youthful sense of humor, joins the

chummy circle.

Stephanie, who models for diabetes foundations and also

professionally, added that her mother is extraordinarily friendly -- she

can talk for an hour with a wrong-number caller -- and approachable.

“I tell her everything,” Stephanie said. “I don’t think there’s one

thing she doesn’t know about me. I tell her things most kids would never

tell. I think I’m one of the few teenagers who understands she was once a

teenager.”

A recent incident they had in D.C. attests to how open Stephanie feels

she can be with her mom -- and how their relationship often takes comical

turns.

One afternoon, she went to the health spa at the hotel and got her

first professional massage. She didn’t know the session would cost $90.

“It took me the whole day to tell her,” Stephanie said, laughing.

When she did confess, the daughter learned that her mother had lost,

that same day, Steven Speer’s $800 digital camera.

“So we couldn’t really get mad at each other,” Stephanie said.

Their trip involved meetings with representatives and Congress people

in the Senate and House offices, talks with the legislative assistants of

Sens. Barbara Boxer and Diane Feinstein and group sessions where

participants learned how to be advocates.

The group of 300 focused on asking about funding for the National

Institute of Health and the Centers for Disease Control concerning

diabetes research.

Having returned from their trip, the pair is anything but done working

to further diabetes education and research. Stephanie modeled Saturday

for the PADRE (Pediatric Adolescent Diabetes Research Education)

Foundation’s 13th annual Fashion Show at the Hyatt Newporter.

Heather Speer has gone right back to work, where her duties expand

beyond the hospital and into area schools and support groups where she

gives talks.

But Speer credits her daughter with being the ultimate educator. She

is so open with her friends and her boyfriend that many have even woken

up before sunrise to take part in diabetes walks.

“She’s the most public person you could be about it,” Speer said.

-- Young Chang writes features. She may be reached at (949) 574-4268

or by e-mail at o7 [email protected] .