COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES

Peter Buffa

Who let the dogs out? Hopefully, no one, but the Costa Mesa Bark Park

continues to be where the canine elite meet to eat, greet and be

generally indiscreet. It has become so popular with the Milk Bone set

that the Costa Mesa City Council had to step in recently and say “wuff.”

Some people were showing up with a few too many pups, thank you. They

were abusing the privilege of a park made of bark -- a special place

where a dog can run free and laugh and scratch and sniff to his little

heart’s content.

How many dogs are too many dogs? That depends on who’s barking, but

I’d have to agree with the city that 20 is plenty. Apparently,

professional dog-walkers were showing up with eight, 10 and even 20

little Lassies at a time, and the exploding pup population was reaching

dangerous levels.

Come to think of it, are there really professional dog-walkers?

Exactly how does it work? Does the professional walker show up at the

door, hook your pooch up for a spin then bring it back, or do you drive

the little beast to the walker’s office then pick it up?

I am a dog person, though I happen to be between dogs at the moment. I

would think walking one’s dog is a big part of the joy of having a dog.

If you are unable to walk your dog because of physical limitations or the

demands of the workplace or whatever, wouldn’t a canary or a goldfish or

a boa constrictor -- i.e., a creature that does very little walking -- be

more appropriate? Maybe not.

According to Donna Theriault of the city’s Public Services Department,

if the ratio of dogs to people is unbalanced, good dogs turn bad. I

happen to think the ratio of unbalanced people to dogs is an even bigger

problem, but Donna, who is a very accomplished equestrian by the way,

knows much more about the animal kingdom than I.

Dogs just want to have fun. But, obviously, no one can keep an eye on

20 dogs at a time. Left to their own devices, unsupervised dogs will

eventually make otherwise well-behaved, well-educated dogs act like a

pack of, well, dogs. Pretty soon, everything with four legs is tearing up

the grass, being aggressive, touching other dogs in inappropriate ways

and, in general, forgetting their party manners. That grass-tearing thing

is an especially vexing problem, because the city sunk a lot of green

into the green last year with new grass, sprinklers and landscaping.

Dog owners who frequent the Bark Park with a more traditional number

of dogs than 20, as in one or two, complained vociferously to the city.

At its meeting on Oct. 1, the council said “A dog is a dog, but 20’s too

many,” or something to that effect.

Thus, until further notice, each two-legged person at the Bark Park

will be limited to exactly four four-legged friends. No less, no more,

just four. As it turns out, the council was more generous than our

neighbors to the west and the south, Huntington Beach and Irvine

respectively. In those cities, each human being may be in possession of

three furry friends. Not six, not five, just three.

It also turns out that the city has a four animal limit per household.

I should have known that, but I did not. You could have knocked me over

with a feather. Not that I have four animals, but I didn’t realize that

four was a magic number as far as nonhuman cohabitants are concerned.

And how did Huntington Beach and Irvine come up with a limit of three?

What do they know that we don’t? Doesn’t matter. In the City of the Arts,

four is the law.

I would think there would be some wiggle room based on the specific

animals in question, but apparently not. Four seems quite generous if

you’re talking about iguanas, but it’s a little meager if your creature

of choice is a hamster.

And how do they enforce the four-animal limit anyway? Maybe they just

do spot checks. Seriously, unless you pile all the iguanas in the car for

a drive, how do they know? I don’t get it.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not knocking the idea of limits. The balance

between animals and nonanimals is a delicate one. How many times have we

heard this story in the news? In the high desert (always the high

desert,) an elderly woman (always an elderly woman) harbors 120 cats

(never dogs) in her home.

After months of complaints from her neighbors (the neighbors always

rat her out,) authorities step in and remove the 120 cats. And there’s

always one investigator who says, “Never seen anything like it. It was

horrible.”

Bottom line, as long as there are people and animals, there must be

limits. So when you get a chance, check every room in the house and do a

careful count of all the creatures great and small. And you better not

get to five. It’s the law.

I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays.

He may be reached via e-mail at [email protected].