RON DAVIS -- Through my eyes

Sometimes you need to read something of real substance -- something

that tests your patience and intelligence. A written word that begs you

to set it aside and reflect on the deep and meaningful implications and

consequences of the organized symbols adorning the pages. And that’s why

I decided to read my local telephone phone bill over the weekend.

Reading a local phone bill is not for the faint of heart. Put the cat

and the kids in another wing of the house. Stay away from any pointed or

sharp objects.

My local phone bill used to have the word “telephone” in the company

name, but that seems to be a thing of the past. My current local

telephone provider is one of those companies where they take seven random

letters from the alphabet and make up a new word. In my case, they could

have given the company a French sound and called it Ron Z. Vie, but, they

opted for a name with a geographical quality. (Hey! What’s that on the

Verizon? A killer vhale?)

I was prompted to look at my phone bill -- and every other utility

bill -- because I wanted to see what costs are lightly buried in my bill.

I’ll bet a lot of you don’t know that in addition to what you might

consider to be regular charges, you have a bunch of extra charges called

service taxes and surcharges.

I called Verizon to get some information on some of these charges. I

love the way the customer service agent answers with their name and then

asks how they can provide their customer with excellent service. When I

heard that I suggested that they could cut my phone bill in half. I could

have sworn that the agent covered the mouthpiece and announced to her

co-workers, “Hey . . . I’ve got Johnny Carson on the phone again.”

A lot of you probably don’t realize it, but more than 10% of your

local phone bill consists of extra charges and taxes. The state charges

you something because of 911 service. Then there are fees to subsidize

people who have special telephone hearing needs. Those are in addition to

the fees to pay for phone service for those who can’t afford to pay for

phone service. Heck, I was charged 72 cents for a Provider Number

Portability fee. According to the person providing me excellent service,

that fee covers me in case I want to move my phone number from Verizon to

Circagonal.

The good news is that the city of Huntington Beach is right there at

the head of the list for extra charges. In fact, the city imposes a 5%

utility tax on us on virtually every utility we use -- gas, electricity,

water, telephone and cable television. Heck, they not only impose the tax

on the direct service, they tax everything incidental to the service.

If you pay your bill late and incur a late fee, the city imposes a 5%

tax on the late fee. Bounce a check? If you incur a bad-check charge from

the utility, the city charges a 5% utility tax on that charge.

Take a look at your television cable bill. You’ll notice that you not

only pay a 5% utility tax for cable service, but also a 5% franchise fee.

That’s 10% to the city of Huntington Beach for the privilege of having

cable television.

Take a look at your utility bills. Maybe you don’t mind the extra

charges. On the other hand, maybe you didn’t know how extensive they are

and do mind. And for those of you who mind, maybe something can be done

about them.

* RON DAVIS is a private attorney who lives in Huntington Beach. He

can be reached by e-mail at o7 [email protected]