Educationally Speaking -- Gay Geiser-Sandoval

When my younger daughter was about 3, we couldn’t get seats together

on a return airline flight. I spent the time in the airport assuring her

that it would be fun to sit next to someone new, and I would only be a

few rows away. We could wave to each other.

When we got on the plane, and I took her to her seat, she grabbed onto

my neck and started sobbing for me not to leave her. Her agony was so

heartfelt that it made me burst into tears, too. Within a minute, the

honeymooner sitting next to her decided that he would trade seats with

me, so that we wouldn’t be parted for those four hours.

That incident came flooding back to me 13 years later, as I watched

the documentary “Into the Arms of Strangers,” now playing at a local

theater.

It’s a fabulous educational lesson packed in two hours in a dark room.

I think it should be required viewing for the whole family. Some films

about war talk about it from the point of view of the soldier, the

government, or the generals. But rarely does a film give such insight

into the effects of war on the children.

Remarkably, the documentarians have allowed the story to be told from

those who experienced the situation. You hear from a mother who sent her

child to a foreign land to live in a stranger’s house.

Likewise, you hear from a surrogate mother, who willingly took a

stranger in for nine years even though he did not share her family’s

language, religion, background, and culture. His country was her

country’s enemy. The truly amazing history comes from the feelings

expressed by those children (now in their senior years) who were sent

away from all that they knew to an uncertain future. It makes some of the

problems our children face in Newport-Mesa pale by comparison.

***

My house is a tobacco, drugs, alcohol, sex and death-free zone for

people under 21. I didn’t worry so much about the death part until two

years ago when our mock trial case was about one of the date rape drugs

that sent the mock victims to the hospital.

I just watched a trial reported on television where a date rape drug

slipped into a girl’s drink led to her death at 14.

So, now I am more vigilant than ever.

Of course, it’s one thing to have a rule and an entirely different

thing to enforce it. I actually stick around to make sure my rules are

followed. That is why I know that a group of teenagers in this very area

can have fun without the aid of tobacco, drugs, alcohol, and sex.

Although I haven’t gone to a teen party with those additives, I

understand the first order of action is for them to get into an altered

state as soon as they can, which often leads to sex and vomiting.

With any luck, a teen won’t remember what happened the night before.

With more luck, none of the other party-goers will remember what the teen

did the night before either. When you aren’t sure if anyone likes you for

who you really are, it is good not to have to be yourself.

That differs from the teen party at my house. Most of the night, the

kids sing karaoke songs as a group, with occasional challenges between

the boys and the girls, or country versus rock ‘n’ roll.

Other time was spent eating with relish without concern about eating

disorders. Finally, the kids spent time talking and just getting to know

each other better. So, spread the word that you have joined MOAF (Mothers

Offering Alternative Fun) and make your home a drug-free and death-free

zone, too.

* GAY GEISER-SANDOVAL is a Costa Mesa resident. Her column runs

Tuesdays. She may be reached by e-mail at [email protected].