Leaving the abuse behind

Sue Doyle

Emma Lumer Slavin says she’s a believer in the mantra: What does not kill

you will make you stronger.

She should know.

The speech teacher’s inner strength blazed through when she explained how

she endured multiple rapes as a child. Her moving story touched a packed

audience Wednesday evening during a candlelight vigil to honor survivors

of violence at Orange Coast College.

The ceremony recognized victims of all types of abuse and encouraged

people to move past the pain. It also raised awareness.

“We have a tendency to focus on the victim. But no -- we need to tell

them they have survived and are on the right track now,” said Amanda

Combs, a prevention education specialist for Sexual Assault Victim

Services, a nonprofit community service program.

Speakers reminded the audience of about 100 that healing is a process

that takes time and that people mend themselves in different ways.

Some, like OCC student Arthur Montez, take years to acknowledge the

abuse. Montez said what began as a game ended up twisting his young life.

He was sexually abused as a child, and spent years coexisting with drugs,

sex and thoughts of suicide because he blamed himself for it.

But finding faith in God gave Montez the strength to recognize what

happened, speak out, and continue living, he said.

“I encourage others to break the silence in their own lives,” he said.

Montez’s entire family sat in the front row, showing support. They wildly

applauded with pride in his strength when he finished speaking.

The room fell silent when the candlelight procession began. Students

formed lines, lit candles and proceeded to the quad where dozens of

T-shirts hung on clotheslines.

The shirts are symbols of Clothesline Project 2000, a nationwide program

to acknowledge women and child victims of abuse.

Anger, acknowledgment and forgiveness screamed from the T-shirts.

Cathy Joseph, a social worker from the student health department, and her

colleagues stood by in case the event stirred overwhelming feelings for

some students.

Joseph said every survivor experiences trauma differently. Some are more

public about it, while others are quiet. There’s no wrong or right way,

she said.

The candlelight vigil also raised awareness among people who weren’t

abused, but know someone who was.

Kay Giordano came to the vigil to support a friend who was abused.

“It’s good for them to get it out. Sometimes people push these things

aside and never understand it,” she said.