Tales to warm the heart
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Noaki Schwartz
Valentine’s Day for many couples means champagne flutes, gifts in pale
blue with white ribbon or an exotic weekend retreat.
But for the 10 winning couples in a Newport Dunes contest, this day of
all days is a poignant reminder of what they’ve overcome simply by
following their hearts. Together, they’ve faced the fear that they’d
never love again, life-threatening illnesses and a turn in economic
prosperity.
Couples whose relationships have endured and indeed flourisheddespite
adversity were asked to write a one-page summary of their love story.
Monday, the winners will attend a complimentary luncheon at the Back Bay
Cafe.
These are three of the most touching tales:
REDISCOVERING LOVE
Back in 1935, Bob and Weedie Derr were part of the same group of friends
that put the high school yearbook together. In their graduating photo,
the group of a dozen hopeful teenagers are all on the same page. Bob made
sure his picture was right next to Weedie’s.
Once the yearbook was completed, tassels were thrown and diplomas were in
hand, the group parted. Leaving the small Ohio town with a population of
6,500, Bob and Weedie went their separate ways.
It was the time of the Great Depression and only three students in the
graduating class went off to college. The rest joined the Army or got
jobs. Life went on and the two married other people, had children and
lived their lives.
They would’ve forgotten about each other entirely if it weren’t for a
letter inviting them back for a high school reunion in 1980.
“I was single and wanted to see everyone,” Weedie said.
“I hadn’t been to any of the reunions,” Bob added.
In the interim, both had lost their spouses and had never entertained the
thought of remarrying or even falling in love again.
And so Weedie went back to Ohio from Indiana and Bob flew out from
California.
Having had some trouble renting a car at the airport, Bob pulled up late,
driving a flashy red Pontiac Firebird with a big gold eagle painted on
the hood. Even more awkward, though, was the moment he walked into the
reunion and realized he was the only person wearing a Hawaiian-print
shirt.
“It looked like an undertaker’s convention,” he recalled.
However, his unconventional California ways intrigued Weedie. He slipped
into the seat across from hers and the two spent the evening reminiscing
and laughing about old times.
They were already falling in love and had clearly stepped back in time.
The couple, then in their mid-60s, spent the rest of the weekend
together. They went out dancing and stayed out into the wee hours of the
morning.
Forgetting her years, Weedie warned Bob not to honk his horn when he
picked her up because her 95-year-old mother didn’t like it. She also
worried that her mother would reprimand her for staying out so late.
Eventually, the weekend passed and the two went home. Then the flowers,
phone calls and trips began. And continued.
Bob proposed four months later because the distance was proving to be too
expensive.
However, before she accepted, Bob called all seven of Weedie’s children
for their permission, which they happily gave. The couple married a month
later.
“The kids keep saying, ‘Bob, if you take her off our hands, the check is
in the mail,”’ Bob said, adding that he still hasn’t seen any money.
Now the Newport Beach couple, who are in their early 80s, are preparing
to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary this year. Bob’s hoping for a
big fat check.
But Bob can attest to the old saying, “money can’t buy me love.”
“It just happened,” Bob said. “I wasn’t out looking.”
“That first weekend, I was hoping and praying,” Weedie recalled. “I guess
it was supposed to be.”
SOUL MATES
That they are soul mates is not visible on the surface. Jodi is Western
and Eric’s from the East. She’s just out of college and he’s looking
toward retirement.
And then there’s the lingering issue of the rare form of cancer that has
stubbornly attached to a muscle under her brain.
Still, looking deeper from the heart, their souls are indeed intertwined.
“It was right from the start,” said Eric Vanpraag. “She fills my life
with a lot of sunshine. It’s her demeanor, her personality, her
idiosyncrasies -- like when she uses her hands as she talks.”
Despite their 22-year age difference, the two share an innate joy in life
and have the same outlook on life. They have fun, Eric said -- even on
their visits to the hospital. He makes her laugh on the otherwise
sobering trips, mischievously opening all the cabinets and poking around
after the doctor leaves the room.
The two met a couple years ago and after only five months, decided to get
married.
“I’ve had cancer twice before and told him about it,” Jodi said. “He was
totally understanding.”
The rare illness, however, foreshadowed the tests the couple would endure
over the months to come. Three months after they were engaged, Jodi’s
father was killed in a boating accident.
Two weeks later, her cancer resurfaced.
“Eric married me two weeks later,” she said.
Since then, the two have continued to battle the disease that doctors say
will take Jodi’s life within the year. Compounding this, both of their
mothers also became seriously ill.
Through it all, however, neither of them ever considered leaving.
“This has been the worst year of our lives, but also the best because we
have had each other to guide us through these tragedies,” Jodi wrote in
her Dunes essay. “The best is to know that together we can get through
anything life throws our way.”
Asked if he ever thought to choose an easier path, Eric dismissed the
idea.
“It’s very rare you meet that one person,” Eric said. “We intertwine.
We’re one.”
REMEMBERING WHAT’S IMPORTANT
The house that newlyweds Paul and Jill Miller bought in a little
community tucked away in South Orange County represented their future
together.
“It was very family-oriented,” Paul said. “Everything was new and so
pretty. We had it all. We were the perfect American couple.”
It was home and the couple set about making it their own.
In preparation of the birth of their first child, Jill spent hours --
paintbrush in hand -- decorating a brightly colored Disney-themed
nursery. Paul remembers her there in the room, sweeping her paint brush
to and fro, with a full belly.
Their child, a son, was born and a year later, the couple decided to add
to their family. Jill finally became pregnant again and the two looked
forward to their second child.
Despite a tradition of twin births in her family, Jill never thought
she’d have them. The couple went to the doctor and sure enough, he
discovered two heartbeats. He offered his congratulations and began to
leave.
But the technician noticed something and pulled the doctor back, pointing
to the monitor.
“My wife said she would’ve fallen down if she were standing up,” Paul
said, adding that they were immediately overcome with a feeling of shock,
fear and elation.
Months later, three girls were born.
This is when the couple’s perfect life began to unravel.
The cost of caring for their four children -- all still in diapers -- was
overwhelming. Formula and diapers alone cost $500 a month.
Still, without a second thought, Paul sold his collection of 1,000
records, his stereo, his car and everything they didn’t absolutely need.
“We held it together for such a long time,” he said. “We refinanced the
house, got rid of one of the cars, got rid of every bill -- but we were
bound and determined to keep the house.”
Finally, it became clear that they would have to sell their home. Even
so, the couple tried to salvage the touches that made it theirs.
Jill wanted to paint over the murals in her children’s rooms, but the
family that offered to buy the house said they wouldn’t take it without
the paintings.
The family of six eventually moved from Rancho Santa Margarita to a small
rental in Lakewood.
However, they’ve had no regrets.
“We hated losing what we had, but those are material things,” Paul said.
“God gave us triplets to give us patience. It’s made our relationship
stronger.”
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